Me, Myself and Ambulances

"27 year old female, bored, hacked off, fed up and tired"

This is my blog. I have have been writing it for about 15 months and it has helped me no end. It gives me focus at work, it has made me a better clinician and has helped my health in a number of ways. I may be opinionated, I may be judgemental and I may be hot headed but that is my way of venting about what I see. This blog isn't real life. Look on it as a work of fiction if you will loosely based on real events. 

I'm bored of having to tell a select few people that I AM NOT breaching patient confidentiality when I write. I'm not stupid. I would never write anything which could be linked back to specific person. 

I'm fed up with people leaving insults and threats because they disagree with me. If you have a different opinion, share it. Ask me a question. Don't spit feathers at me, don't climb on a high horse and get all your mates to leave similar comments and don't patronise me.

I'm hacked off with having to write this post to explain myself AGAIN. I have never received a complaint letter. I have received plenty of thank you letters. I have received commendations. I act professionally at ALL times and treat ALL others how I'd like to be treated.

I'm tired of losing sleep because of trolls, bullies, intimidators and those that threaten me. No more. Until now I have never blocked anyone on twitter and I have never deleted a comment on my blog. That ends today. I'm not taking crap from a tiny, tiny minority. It may only be about 5 people who have moaned out of the 70,000 who have viewed by blog this month but it's those 5 that have ruined various days and various much needed sleeps. 

So, to everyone who is unclear and thinks I'm full of hatred, classist, unprofessional, discriminatory and whatever other term of endearment you can come up with, this is ME from the 'about me' page on my blog. Read it, absorb it and if you don't like me, or my blog please please please go away and don't come back. 

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My name is Ella Shaw. I work on ambulances somewhere between Lands End & John O'Groats and in my spare time, own a 5 year old boy. 

Ambulances: I didn't always want to do this. I'm not going to lie and say it was something I dreamt of, in fact, until I saw the advert in 2008 the thought hadn't crossed my mind. I suppose I applied on a whim; just looking for something to get me out of the dead end 9-5 I'd been in. To my amazement I got the job. I completed my training and off I went into the big wide world of ambulances, and I haven't looked back since. It was by far the best decision I have ever made.

I have always been the type of person that questions right and wrong and in this job you experience a lot of both: politics at local level, government policy, patient behaviour, staff attitudes, life or death and everything in the middle, and I find myself asking questions. Invariably that involves an indignant rant and grumble but that's me. I'm a full time cynic, part time pessimist and a conspiracy theorist at weekends. I love a good moan but I can't stand moaners. That's my right. Deal with it.

The Boy: The boy means everything to me, part of why I wanted this job was to have a career to support him, the security of a job that will always be needed and the regular salary and pension to provide for him. I am immensely proud of him, he is funny, intelligent and happy. He has also sleeps through the night which has helped with shift work! He is a huge part of my life and when you ask him what I do he replies

"My mummy is a paramedic, she works on the ambulances and looks after the ouch. And if someone falls of their bike you call 999 and my mum comes. And looks after the ouch."

Need I say anymore!

The Blog: I’m writing this blog to vent frustrations, share experiences, provoke debate and educate people as to what life is really like on the road as I see it. I don't have the wealth of experience that many do but I don't think you need that so much to form opinions. I may have only been on the road for 4 years or so but in that time I've seen and learnt more than my entire life before that. I’m lucky enough to have a great job; I work with great people and strive to be the best I possibly can be for my patients. Some patients were sent to test me, some were sent to amuse me and some just baffle me, and despite my ramblings I generally look forward to work each day. I love my job. 

All my blogs are loosely BASED on real experiences and feelings, though I do use poetic license to protect the identity of my patients, their families and my colleagues. All names, ages, nationalities and locations have been changed as to uphold their anonymity. Please do not read a post and think that I am talking about an actual patient. I use my experiences to create a post to express how I felt at the time or how I feel about a certain topic. It's my way of dealing with what I see. All opinions shared are mine and mine alone. I hope you enjoy reading and welcome any comments and opinions. That said, there is a big difference between offering a different opinion and having a debate, to trolling, bullying and threatening me. That WILL NOT be tolerated. I am not representing any particular ambulance service (I work for 3) or any professional body. 

You can also follow me on Twitter @diagnosisLOB or join me on my Facebook page. If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it. I will make no apologies for my opinions. Though I welcome all comments, good and bad, if you over step the line, insult, patronise or get all high and mighty on me, your comment will be deleted. I write this blog for me and the people who enjoy it. It's that simple!

Thanks for taking the time to read,

Ella x

Trolls

"A faceless nobody embarrassing themselves"

Troll: A troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion. The noun troll may refer to the provocative message itself, as in: "That was an excellent troll you posted."

I've had a few weeks off blogging, not because I was fed up or had nothing to write about, but because I was a) being a slave to the wage and b) enjoying the Olympics! I had planned to start writing again next week but a visit from a regular troll made me cut my sabbatical early! A few weeks ago I posted a blog called 'Sick Note'. I received plenty of positive comments and that was where my blog was left. That was until last night. At 18:18 Anonymous reared their ugly head and left the following comment:

"ah at last. im so pleased to see youve taken the hint and stopped writing you're pathetic blog. Youll never be respected, lets just hope you stay away. Its as if you're soul purpose has been to anoy me. Your a nobody, I hate your writing style and your tweets. I know who you are. dont forget that. I bet you wine about be being annonymous to! As for you're little crew of followers, they dont bother me. there are people who have earnt my respect with professionalism and talent not by writing utter rubbish. stay away and dont bother coming back. You wont be missed.

Always hear to ruin your day

Annonymous"

I suspect it is the same person who often pops up and has a dig, hands out an insult, says I'm unprofessional and tells me I can't write. It appears they missed me! Bless! Sometimes I reply, sometimes I don't. More often than not, you lot say all that is needed to be said and for that, I thank you! This time however, I decided to reward said troll with their very own post to get their teeth in to. So, without further ado, here is my response to anonymous:

Dear Anonymous,

I must start with telling you how much I have missed you, it's been at least a month since you came onto my website that you cannot stay away from. Oh how I have missed your banter, your eloquent tongue and sublime use of the English language. My last blog just didn't feel complete without your bitter, uneducated waffling. Before I dissect the content of your well thought out and superbly executed comment just a few things to help you with your next trolling experience.

"Ah (capital letter to start a sentence) at last. I'm (capital letter to start a sentence / apostrophe as you are abbreviating 'I am') so pleased to see you've (apostrophe as you are abbreviating 'you have') taken the hint and stopped writing you're (It's 'your', not 'you're') pathetic blog. You'll (apostrophe as you are abbreviating 'you will') never be respected, let's (apostrophe as you are abbreviating 'let us') just hope you stay away. It's (apostrophe as you are abbreviating 'it is') as if you're (It's 'your' not 'you're') soul (it's 'sole' not 'soul') purpose has been to anoy (annoy) me. You're (It's 'you're, not 'your') a nobody, I hate your writing style and your tweets. I know who you are. Don't (capital letter to start a sentence / apostrophe as you are abbreviating 'do not') forget that. I bet you wine (it's 'whine', not 'wine') about be (I think you mean 'me') being annonymous  (it's anonymous) to! As for you're (It's 'your' not 'you're') little crew of followers, they don't (apostrophe as you are abbreviating 'do not') bother me. There (capital letter to start a sentence) are people who have earnt (it's 'earned' not 'earnt') my respect with professionalism and talent, (use a comma for a break in the sentence) not by writing utter rubbish. Stay (capital letter to start a sentence) away and don't (apostrophe as you are abbreviating 'do not') bother coming back. You won't (apostrophe as you are abbreviating 'will not') be missed.

Always hear (it's 'here', not 'hear') to ruin your day (sloppy grammar, that is an incomplete sentence)

Annonymous (it's Anonymous)"

It would be unfair of me to criticise and condemn without first offering you some help. Below are a list of links to websites to assist you with your future learning and use of the Queen's English. Hopefully you can find the time to do an evening class or enter a spelling Bee. You may learn how to use grammar and structure a sentence properly. I'm only pointing out these glaring errors as I would love you to become a good writer. Then, and only then, will I take your critique seriously. Until then, I will smile and feel all warm inside, because we all know you are green with envy.

• Learn Direct - Adult English Literacy
• Learn Direct - Life Skills
• Direct Gov - Adult Learning
• The Times - Spelling Bee

Now, the content. As you can see, no hint has been taken. I am still here, writing away and this time with you in mind. You should be so pleased. You can continue trolling to your (see how I spelt your! Lol) heart's content. Sadly, you are of the impression I am writing to gain respect. Wrong! I write for me and anyone who wants to read it. I find it therapeutic (big word I know). In fact, while I am writing this, I am smiling! How cool is that?! You made me smile! I write from the soul (see what I did there!) simply to annoy you. When I go to a job that upsets me or troubles me I think to myself 'Right, better get this typed up for my old pal Troll'. You inspire me, you really do. I hope you feel an inner sense of pride on reading that. You are making a difference. You were also correct about me whining about you being anonymous. The incorrect spelling of your name aside, I don't care who you are, I just think hiding behind anonymity out of malice is completely different to hiding behind anonymity for professional reasons. That argument however is for another day, for now though, just remember: A N O N Y M O U S. Write it out a few times, maybe it will stick. Here's hoping eh?! 

I hope you enjoy this utter rubbish I'm writing, you seem to hang on my every word and for someone who hates me and my writing so much, you appear to read it a lot! I wonder how many of last month's 50,000 website hits were you?! 10, 20, 50?! Please tell me, I'm dying to know. Even if it is 1000, which I hope it is, I suppose we will have to blame my crew for the other 49,000. Bummer.

As for knowing who I am, that's not fair, because I don't know who you are. Give me a clue, please. It's only fair. How can we have an open and honest relationship if you are intent on keeping such secrets?! Please play nice, you show me yours and I'll show you mine. Promise. I just want to get to know you. I want to know what you do. Are you an ambulance junkie, do you pretend to be something you are not, do you try and strike an allegiance with people you think are the most popular? I have so many questions for you. We should do coffee! Yes! Or lunch? Or, dinner and a show! How cool would that be?! Let me know what you fancy!

Anyway, as you can see I have not stayed away, I have come back and that is all because of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I missed this little playful interaction we have. You're such a tease! You really have made my day!

Thank you again, your adoring fan, hugs and kisses with lots of love,

Ella xxx

PS: Call me ;-) x

I hate trolls. I hate everything about them. I think they are scum to put it mildly, but they are part of life. I know doing a post dedicated to Anonymous is kind of taking the bait and normally that is what they thrive off, but it's fun to play with them. Anyone, who's sole purpose is to try and cause upset and distress to others for their own entertainment is sad. It's pathetic, they are lonely, have no joy in their life and just want to bring others down to their level. I for one won't allow it. The more I'm trolled, the more I will write. The more abuse I get, the more I will smile. They will not win, they will not get what they want. Repeatedly they will be shown up to be the bottom-feeding gutter snipes they really are. Neanderthal would be a compliment to these cretinous individuals, I hope none of you ever listen to a word they say.

So, what do we all think? Please tell me! Share your trolling experience! Are you a troll? If you are, here is your forum to say why you're a hater. Have you been trolled? Join the debate. They all need to be pointed at, laughed at and stamped on at every given opportunity. That's what I think anyway!

Good to be back!