It's a MAD time of year!

Well well well! It appears that the MAD Blog Awards have returned! How is that possible?! I'm sure I was only at the award ceremony last week?! Last year was amazing! I was humbled to be nominated in the Best Writer category and completely blown away to be one of the 5 finalists. Unsurprisingly, and rightly, the award went to the fantastic @Mammywoo. It was a great evening where I met loads of fantastic people and I'd love to try again this year!

Nominations are now open for the MAD Blog Awards 2014 and obviously I need nominations! So please please please take a few moments to fill in the form! You can only nominate once but you can vote for each category! This year I've been told I've been nominated again for 'Best Writer' and also 'Most Entertaining' so I'd very much appreciate if you could nominate me for both of them! Obviously, 'Blog of the Year' would be nice! 

Follow the link below, give your email address, nominate a 'Blog of the Year' and then nominate me in the categories you think I deserve by simply adding my URL www.tryingmypatients.co.uk ! Nominations are open until 14th March and then voting begins!

Thanks again for all your support! 

Ella x

NOMINATE NOW!!!

Drugs Glorious Drugs

OK kids. Let's talk drugs! I'm not talking about the naughty and highly illegal drugs, I'm talking about the drugs you can buy and the ones doctors can give. The likes of paracetomol, ibruprofen, antibiotics and inhalers. You know, the stuff you take when you're in pain or poorly. Drugs rule! Now, I'm not here to talk about the sensible people who take them. I'm not even going to discuss the idiots that don't take them. (OK, I might!) I am talking about the parents who DON'T give them to their children. The parents who 'don't believe' in paracetomol to bring down their child's temperature, the parents who won't give calpol for pain because 'they don't buy into it' and the parents who refuse their children antibiotics because 'medication isn't healthy. THESE parents. Personally, I think it's criminal and I will always fill out a vulnerable child social services referral if a parent discloses a refusal to medicate their child. I don't get it. Why would anyone want their child to suffer? How can you 'not believe' in them?! They are there to help and a proven to help. That fact is beyond reproach. A child CANNOT control their core temperature. That is what we wrap them up warm and strip them off when hot. That is why we give Calpol when they are ill. 

Drugs are amazing. They make you and your child feel better. It's not something to 'buy in to'. It's something that is there to help. It is one thing to be an adult, and a stupid one at that, to refuse to medicate yourself. I've lost count of the number of people in pain who won't take pain killers for bizarre reasons like 'not wanting to mask their symptoms' but as an adult, they are free to be idiots and face the consequences and discomfort caused by their inaction's. A child is not. A child can only have what they are given, and if they aren't given, then they will suffer. Fact. These happy clappy free spirited parents who go by the ethos that drugs are evil, are quite frankly, mad. Have they never had tramodol?! That shiz is AMAZING! 

"4 year old male, fitting"

Most kiddies 'fitting' turn out to be a simple febrile confusion. As I have said, before the age of 6 a child's brain isn't fully developed, especially the hypothalamus which controls the bodies temperature. Because of this, toddlers, especially males are susceptible to convulsions and seizures when they get a high temperature. This is normally kept in check by good old fashioned Calpol and if there is an infection, some antibiotics will help. 

After fighting my way through the traffic I pulled into the road to be greeted with a familiar sight of frantic waving from the dad. I grabbed my bags, including my DRUGS and headed in. The dad ran up the stairs ahead of me, whilst I navigated the death trap of the stair gate! In the bedroom was the child with the mum. He was having an extremely violent seizure.

I put some oxygen straight on him and took his temperature whilst talking to the mum. 41.4 C. This is one of the highest temperatures I've seen.

"What's the history?"

"He's been unwell for 4-5 days with a temperature and saw the GP a few days ago."

"What did the GP say?"

"That he had an ear infection."

"What medication did he prescribe?"

"We don't believe in antibiotics so we didn't pick up the prescription."

I felt my blood pressure rise immeasurably. Antibiotics are not some mythical being that you 'believe in'. They are not like the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny that you only believe in as a child. They are like Father Frickin Christmas. Real as can be. (don't judge me). You can't 'not believe in them'! Anyway, now was not the time to lecture them. 

"What time was his last Calpol?"

"We don't give our children calpol."

Of course you don't. You enjoy seeing your child's body convulse violently in front of you. You enjoying seeing his brain get so hot that he ends up like this. It is neglect. Plain and simple. What kind of warped principles do these people have? Where does it stem from? It is like not vaccinating your child from killer diseases and not wanting them to have blood transfusions because a book told not to. Inside I was seething. I was also desperate for the ambulance to arrive!

He'd been fitting for pushing 15 minutes now. I ripped open my drug pack and grabbed the diazepam. 

"Is that totally necessary?" the mum said uncomfortably. 

"Yes. 100%. He needs these drugs and he needs them now. It's the only way I may be able to stop him fitting."

She kind of nodded in acceptance, almost annoyed at me for dashing her principles on medication. I gave the diazepam as the ambulance crew walked in. 

"Let's just go!" I said, giving a handover as we walked.

I picked up the still fitting boy and rushed to the ambulance. Mum followed. Without any delay, we left to the hospital. I put in a pre-alert and then just watched, hoping. Eventually the seizure slowed down and stopped. It was certainly a relief but a 20 minute seizure could well have caused real brain damage. Yet this fact seemed to escape the parents. They looked worried, like any parent would but I genuinely think they felt totally justified by their inaction. 

At hospital, I handed over the waiting doctors, making sure to make it clear the parents and refused to give the antibiotics and refused to give any Calpol. Not taking into account the temperature he had, the poor boy must have had the most awful ear ache. No painkillers. It's disgusting. The doctor didn't hold back like I did! She told the mum that her son was in this way because of her. I left promptly because as much as I agreed, I hate watching people getting told off!

Why am I having to write posts like these? Why is this mentality still in existence?! I'm all for free speech and free choice. If people want to do things with their life that is their choice. However, as a parent, you have the responsibility to ensure your child is kept safe and well. They are too young to make ill conceived principled stands on something as amazing medications, and to force these warped ideals on children is just plain wrong. What do you think? Am I being harsh? Should parents be free to choose whether their child gets the medication they need? Or should there be rules in place to stop this harmful way of thinking affecting these poor little kids? You tell me. I just don't understand.

Fitting In Shopping

It's a fear every parent has to deal with. You child becomes sick. I don't mean vomiting, I mean big sick. Or,they may not actually be 'big sick' but you think they are! And that isn't a criticism! I was the same, if my boy farted and it didn't sound right, I panicked. He he stayed asleep I'd poke him until he cried just in case! It's what we do, we want to do everything we can to make sure they are OK and nothing will get in the way of that! NOTHING! It would be a very brave person to try and get in the way of a manic parent! Unfortunately, not all parents seem that caring. Some, quite simply don't give a dam, or so it seems. Some's priorities are so warped its hard to see what part of them is a parent. If someone in the medical profession told me my boy needed hospital that second I would move heaven and earth to get him there, that second. To me, there is nothing more important than my child's health and happiness.

"1 year old male, having seizure, in pharmacist" 

This job had all the makings of a simple job. Generally a 'seizure' In a 1 year old is a febrile convulsion, normally caused my a high temperature. They are very common in under 5s and most parents end up seeing them at some point. They can be very scary to watch if you've never seen one before and it's no wonder most parents we see are running round like headless chicken when we arrive on scene, beside themselves with angst! This is what we expected anyway, but I should know by now that in this job, always expect the unexpected. 

We pulled up outside, grabbed our stuff and headed into the pharmacist. One of the pharmacists gave me an excellent handover while taking me throughout to their treatment room. Apparently the kid had started having the seizure so the mum put the boy on the floor and 'wondered over to the counter and asked for something to stop the shaking'. The pharmacist picked up the child and took her into the treatment room whilst a colleague phoned for us. Lying on the bed, still fitting was this little boy. Holding his hand was one of the pharmacists who quite rightly looked very concerned. Sitting on a chair, texting, was the mother. How caring! 

The boy had been fitting now for 12-14 minutes which got alarm bells ringing in my head! We gave him oxygen and administered diazepam to try and stop the seizure. To all our relief, within a few minutes he stopped. He laid the panting away, it's horrible to see. His mum, still texting had nothing to say and seemed totally un-moved by the whole event. 

"Right, we need to get him to hospital, do you want to carry him or shall I?!" 

"Does he have to go to hospital? He's better now." 

*pause whilst my bottom jaw drops and hits the floor with a thud* 

"YES! He's not very well at all." 

"Alright, can you carry him, I've got stuff to carry, I'll be there in a sec." 

With my jaw dragging along the floor, I carried the boy to ambulance. H was still limp. I laid him onto the bed, reattached the oxygen to the vehicle supply and connected him up to the monitoring. The mother hadn't followed us and was still in the pharmacist. I left the boy with my crewmate whilst I marched back to the shop. What was she doing? Some shopping! 

"What are you doing? We need to go now!" I exclaimed. 

"Alright, keep your hair on, there's just a few bits I need to get?" 

"That can wait, we need to go now!" 

She ignored me and wondered over to the till. 

"Did you hear me? We need to go now. You son is not very well at all." 

Seeing my concern and anger the pharmacist told the mother to just take the stuff and go the ambulance, which she did. I was speechless. As we got back to the ambulance the boy started fitting again. 

"Right, lets just go, I'll put the call in on route" 

Off we went. Me standing, boy fitting, mum texting. 

"Red base, blue call when you're ready for details." 

"Go ahead." 

"We have a 1 year old male in status epilepticus, 1 seizure lasting 14 minutes and currently having a second seizure. Pulse of 168, resp rate of 48, oxygen saturation of 100%, temperature of 40.9 C, GCS 3 (unconscious), patients on full flow oxygen and has had 5mg of diazepam PR (up the bum), ETA 4-5 minutes" 

"Rog, passing it for you now." 

By the time that was done we were already hurtling up the road towards the hospital. With one hand I was holding onto the ceiling bar, the other making sure the boy stayed on the bed. The mum was still full of apathy and my jaw was still on the floor. As we pulled into the hospital, boy still fitting, she spoke.... 

"How long do you reckon we will have to wait before we can go home?" 

"A LONG TIME. Your son is still fitting, he is not well at all, as I keep saying, it isn't a case of waiting for 2 hours then going home." 

"I was only asking." 

The tail lift opened and we wheeled the bed out and rushed into resus. The team were waiting for us and in a change from the norm, I started my handover the second I was in earshot of them. They knew from the call the seriousness of the situation in a child so young. Perhaps one of them will be able to drag the mother away from her phone to explain that. 

I really was speechless. What is there to say? Never have I seen such apathy and disregard for a child from their mother. This poor little boy could well be fighting for his life and shopping came first. I'm often critical of various people's attitudes in society for a variety of reasons. I'm often judgmental and question the morality of what a lot of people do, but never have I seen someone so unfit to have the privilege of being a parent. And it is a privilege. I will live my life judging myself by the way my son is brought up and how I acted as a parent. How people like that are allowed to keep their children I will never know. It truly breaks my heart thinking about it. 

Experience

"28 year old female, lacking experience....."

Right! Rant time! This post was inspired by a twitter conversation with @butwhymummywhy about being judged as being too young! (see her musing on the same subject here) Tell me, who here has been told they were too young to do something? Which mothers have faced criticism for being to young to have a baby? I'm not talking the 13 and 14 year olds, they ARE too young. I'm not even talking about the '16 and pregnant' ones. I'm talking those in the low 20's. At what age is the 'right age'? Who has not been trusted at work because of their age? Who's opinions have been discounted because they were 'too young' or 'inexperienced'? Personally, I've been on the receiving end of a number of comments about being 'too young' throughout my relatively short life. Being a parent at 23?! What was I thinking! Far too young! Right?! Let me put this too you....

Let's say I went to university, graduated at 21, got a job, worked for 4 years, had a committed relationship and then had a baby at 27. Is that acceptable? Yes it is! How about leaving school at 16, working for 3 years, buying my own house, had a committed relationship, worked for another 4 years and had a baby at 23. I was earning more than most of the 23 year olds with degrees. I owned a house and had 7 years working and living as an adult under my belt. Am I any less qualified? Apparently so! Surely my degree from the University of Life counts for something?! It really pisses me off when age is used to undermine, with nothing to back it up other than a date of birth. 

Now take the work place. My work place. The ambulance service is a very strange working environment. There is a bizarre mentality amongst many that the more years of service you have done, the better you are. There is a culture of looking after the 'long timers' and the 'newbies' can deal with it. The relief rota is a case in point. Working 7/10 weekends indefinitely just because you are new if fine for a few years but 3? 4? 5? 6 years? When are you experienced enough to not have to do the shifts that the experienced staff don't want to?!

"68 year old female, chest pain"

I was working with a guy who had done 25 years on ambulances. The shift had been painful. He didn't have the time of day for me because I was a student. At no point did he bother to ask where in my training I was. He opened the days conversation with 'are you one of jumped up Uni medics or one of the Playmobil Paras?'. There is a lot of ambiguity in the service about university students. They are seen as stuck up 'know it alls'. OK, some are but similarly there are 'old hands' or 'dinosaurs' who swagger around with just as much self importance. It's not the training, it's the personality. Difference is I wouldn't call them a derogatory name to their face! This guy was giving me one of two labels regardless of what kind of clinician I was. For the record I was a 'Playmobil Para'. I get this label because my route to becoming a paramedic had a different name for the final exam than what used to be done. Therefor it stands to reason that I will be incompetent, useless, untrustworthy, unknowledgeable and a clinical liability. Right?

The hours past with stories about 'back in the day' and instructions not to do too many jobs in the shift etc. I was mocked for being thorough and told my extensive paperwork was a waste of time. I ignored it. It was the expected treatment for a relatively new student. By relatively new, I mean only 2 years. At 4 shifts a week, 10 jobs a shift, that equates to roughly 4,160 patients. In that time I had done 2 ECG recognition courses, a course in Trauma, plenty of home study, clinical updates, reflective practice and some other work related stuff. Yes I was new, yes I was still keen (still am) and no I didn't tell him what I'd done in my spare time.

We arrived on scene at the patients house and as the 'newbie' I carried all the bags while he followed with his hands in his pockets. The patient looked like crap. Pale, sweating and complaining of central chest pain radiating to her jaw. I did the ECG, looked at it and KNEW it was heart attack. I passed it to my crew mate of 25 years experience.

"Nah, it's just high take off."

A) Normal B) Heart Attack (NOT High Take Off!)

For those not down with ECG terminology, we look for ST segment elevation. I know that means nothing to most of you but all you need to know is high take off and elevation can look similar but are not the same. I explained my reasons why it wasn't high take off and the response I got was:

"You can use all the long words you like, that's high take off."

The reason this was a sticking point was, if it WAS a heart attack, we would be travelling a long way to a Heart Attack Centre and would be late off. It is wasn't, and was just high take off, we'd be going to the nearest A & E and would be off on time. 

"I've been doing this job for 25 years, you're a student, trust me, it's high take off."

"It's elevation, we are going to the HAC, you can call clinical support if you like. The history matches the ECG."

He muttered something under his breath about 'know it alls' with 'no experience' and stomped off to the cab. We drove to the HAC, the waiting cardiologist looked at the ECG and confirmed it was indeed ST elevation and she was indeed having a heart attack. 

Student 1 - 0 25 Years Experience

It made for an awkward journey home. I didn't gloat. I didn't say 'I told you so' but I didn't need to. He just ignored me. The silence was golden. My point isn't that I was great. On a day to day basic his wealth of experience would help him and me in many ways but just because I'm young and new doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. He hadn't done any training for years, no continual professional development. Therefor, is 25 years experience just 1 years experience repeated 25 times? I have uppermost respect for people who have done the job for so long but respect still has to be earned. Treating my like an idiot only earned my crewmate disdain. I don't know everything, far far far from it. I'm still learning. I'll always still be learning. The time I don't feel the need to learn more is the time I stop gaining experience.

People should be judged on ability not experience. People should be judged on how how well their children are brought up, not how old the parents are. Experience is relative. It's well known that discriminating against sex, race, religion and sexuality is not acceptable in today's society. Well, age isn't a reason to belittle / dismiss / ignore someone either. To label someone as too young to do something or to have done something, smacks to me as criticism to justify their own choices in life. There is no point in having experience if you've done sod all with it.

Rant over! 

Do I have enough experience ranting to call myself a well rounded ranter or am I too young?

Chelsea Tractors

"5 year old male hit by car, injuries unknown"

3:30pm. The school run. My money is on a careless driver not watching where they are going and a little kid has paid the price for it. We got about 100 yards from the location given and it clear that it was a school. There was queue of cars obviously stopped because of the incident who were blocking our path to the patient. I'd say at least 50% of said cars were Chelsea Tractors. For those unaware of the term here are some Urban Dictionary ones:

1) Chelsea Tractor 

Any expensive 4x4 that is driven in an urban environment as a status symbol (typically for the school run) and will never be driven off-road.

2) Chelsea Tractor 

An off-road car that never goes off-road

3) Chelsea tractor Noun, a large 4 wheel drive vehicle, driven in cities for ordinary, day to day purposes. eg, Land Rover, BMX X5, etc..

Typically, they are driven by mums for the school run.......because everyone needs a Land Rover Defender to drive half a mile to school to pick up their 1 child. Nothing winds me up more. It's bad enough that they have them, but they can't even drive them! Here we are, blue lights and sirens and they all panic! When faced with an ambulance there are some options available. 

a) Pull over to the left allowing us to pass on the wrong side of the road.

b) Keep going and pull into one of the spaces or the bus stop.

c) Stop diagonally across the entire road preventing any traffic from moving in any direction.

Yes. You guessed it. c) was by far the most appealing option! Though some did try b) but the parking sensors clearly weren't up to scratch. Why have a car you can't drive?! Thanks to one particular owner of a BMW X5 we had to abandon the ambulance and walk with all of the kit we could carry. I glared at the owner and received:

"What do you fuckin' expect me to do?"

Nice, in front of her child too. That kid will have a mouth like a toilet by the age of 7! It'll probably have it's its own petrol guzzler too! 

Eventually we got to our patient. Shock horror, he'd been hit by a 4 x 4. Luckily it was low speed and he had no injuries. The car had reversed and I quote:

"It's not my fault, the reversing alarm didn't go off, they shouldn't have been crossing behind me."

No, you are quite right. It's totally their fault. Crossing at the yellow zig-zags where cars are not allowed to stop, outside a school is just bad parenting. They should be punished for that. The Range Rover Overfinch comes with plausible deniability when it comes to bad driving. I forgot. As for the reversing sensors, right again. Mirrors and awareness of surrounding are so last year! I suppose being so high up in a car means short people should be more vigilant when crossing roads. This child certainly has no right to an apology. Stupid child. Stupid mother for crossing the road at a crossing. I'd call social services if I was you. It's verging on neglect isn't it?! 

ARE       YOU       SERIOUS?!

You are blaming the child for your incompetence?! The child you just reversed into? I really had to bite my tongue! Am I alone in my hatred for these cars in urban areas? Why does everyone flock to them? Why are they so popular? And why are they all driven by women who can't drive? Can I just add, before I get mobbed by feminists for saying 'women can't drive', anyone who relies on parking sensors and reversing alarms / cameras to park a car CANNOT drive. There is absolutely no need to them in built up areas. Fine, if you live in the country and have to drive up steep mud tracks to get to school then fine, but these cars have never seen a mud, let alone a hill. What happened to walking? Most of these people live within a mile of the school! That's how catchment areas work! WALK! No wonder all your kids are fat. Bit harsh. I know. I semi-retract that last comment!

So, here is a car buying guide for anyone considering a 4 x 4 for the school run:

Will you be driving on terrain like this?

Will you be driving up hill like this?

If you answered 'NO' to either of those questions then you DON'T need one of these.....

Will you be driving down roads like this?

Will you be sat in traffic like this?

If you answered 'YES' to either question you don't need one of these......

What you need is a new pair of shoes at best! FACT! 

Seriously, there is no need for them. It is just a status symbol. Nothing more, nothing less. They are bad for the environment, bad for the roads, bad for traffic, bad for people hit by them and badly driven. This child was very lucky. Most kids who are hit by them are not. If you have to drive match the car to your needs, not your wallet. Anyway, got to go, got to walk to the school.....

Despair

“4 year old female, vomiting, DIB”

I see a lot of different people in this job; a lot of people from different backgrounds, different ethnicities, different religions and different sexualities. People come in all shapes and sizes, all ages and each with their own unique medical histories. Some people have nothing wrong with them; some have very complex needs and care packages. Until we arrive at someone’s house and go in, we have no real idea of what to expect.  A 4 year old vomiting with DIB is nothing out of the ordinary and could mean anything from a minor stomach bug to a life threatening condition. The latter is unlikely but always possible. 

On route to a job it is not uncommon to get an update, namely because we are dispatched automatically by a computer as soon as an address or mobile phone co-ordinate is obtained. As more information is received we are updated. 

“UPDATE: Patient has special needs”

This could mean anything but made the job a little more interesting. We arrived at the front door, which was opened by a small child who pointed upstairs. Up we went, bags in hand. In the living  / bedroom was about 8 or 9 members of a family ranging in age. Lying on the bed, on her back was our patient. She was very small for her age, her legs were not properly formed and her face was slightly contorted and swollen. In the corner of the room was a very complex looking wheel chair with head and leg straps and a torso restraint. It was clear her needs were very complex so vomiting could be a serious issue in terms of aspiration.

“What’s the problem tonight?”

“She vomited”

“Anything else?”

“She’s not breathing normally”

“OK, so what medical conditions has she got?”

“She can’t walk or talk”

“OK, but what is specifically is wrong with her, what condition has caused this?”

“She was born like it”

“OK but what condition is it that she has?”

They just looked at me blankly and then the mother passed me a folder. Normally when a folder is passed by a relative, it is a care folder with medical history, medications and patient details. The folder we were given contained financial information relating to the kid, benefit allowances, bank statements and letters requesting more money. A bank statement dated 2 weeks previous showed a balance 4 x my monthly salary.  It also transpired that no one in the house worked for a living. 

“This has nothing about her medical history, what is wrong with her?”

“You tell me, you’re the paramedics.”

“Yes. I know that, but without knowing her history or what she is normally like at 2am it is hard to form an opinion of the cause to the vomiting. What condition does she have that causes her to be in a wheelchair?”

*Shrugs shoulders and kisses teeth*

While I was fighting an uphill battle trying to get any kind of history, my crewmate had been checking her over. She grabbed the oxygen and put on a full flow mask. Very low oxygen levels, a very high respiration rate and a very congested chest suggested she might have aspirated on her vomit. 

“Right, we are going to be going to hospital, can you grab a bag of stuff for her”

The mum passed me a bag.

“Can you carry that? We have our bags to carry”

“Oh, do I have to come with you?”

“YES! She’s your daughter!”

“But we’ll be sat there for ages, can’t someone just call us when she needs to come home?”

“NO! One of you has to come with her.”

A look of sheer annoyance spread across her face. Was I really hearing this?! Do people like this actually exist?! Why is this poor child allowed to live somewhere where she clearly isn’t being given the care she requires? I really do despair at what society has to offer. Lying on the bed in the ambulance was a little girl who has a very poor quality of life at the best of times. Couple that with parents full of apathy and who’s priority appears to be what money they can get as a bi-product of her condition and I was left feeling sick. Sick that there has been no intervention, sick that situations like this exist. I don’t know if this behaviour was a cultural thing but as far as I was concerned it wasn’t something that should be tolerated in any culture or society. I certainly wasn’t going to let it go un-noticed.

In a heavily antiquated system there is too much red tape to cross, things simply take too long to take effect. Protocols need to be in place to enforce the strictest of penalties when the care of a child fall short from what is expected. Not just for the extremes in children with complex medical needs but in children who display anti-social behaviour, truancy and crime. I personally think that parents have to be held accountable for their failings at all levels otherwise their culture and apathy towards parenting will be evident in the next generation. Maybe I am being harsh but I really do despair at what we as a country allow to happen. 

Good milk, bad milk

Ahh the joy of feeding newborn babies! Every child is different, every couple is different, there are different ideals, different routines, and different formulas. Some mothers want to breast feed for as long as possible, some mothers don’t. Some mothers can’t breast feed, some can. Some babies like to breast feed, some don’t. As parents we find out what works and what doesn’t. That may mean breast-feeding, bottle-feeding or a combination of the two. My boy had breast for a short while then bottle from then on. That is what worked for us. He’s always been a healthy child so I don’t buy into the ‘breast is best’ doom mongering that goes on. As far as I’m concerned, ‘whatever stops the crying best is best’! Simples! Milk formula comes in all different shapes sizes and colors. There is SMA, Cow and Gate, Aptamil, Hipp, Organix and many many more. They all claim to be the best and do all sorts of magic things. The fact is, like some of us only like Heinz ketchup, babies can be fussy to. They will only eat what they like and we went through 4 different ones until we settled on Aptamil. The result of finding the right non-breast milk was our secret to ‘the boy’ sleeping 8 hours a night from 3 months old and 12 hours a night from 9 months old. Yes, I know, I have NO idea what being a parent is like; I’ve had it easy. I could give you my tips but to be honest, like I’ve said, you just find what works for you that match your child’s needs with your parenting ideals. Most people would have found our way of doing things haphazard but it worked for us and ‘the boy’ seemed fine on his 5^th birthday. 

I’m not one to criticize other peoples parenting styles, but I see things at work which really make me question people’s suitability to nurture a baby. What will these children grow up to be like? I’d love to know.

“3 month old male, chest pains, clammy, not eating, has a fever”

I trust you are all asking exactly the same question as I was when this popped up on our screen!

“How in god’s name does a 3 month old baby explain that he has chest pain?!”

I was desperate to know! We arrived outside the location to find a lack of front door. It was a flat above shops so we had to wonder around to the dark ally way behind the block. We climbed the wet, metal staircase, walked across the flat room of the shops and knocked on the door. A frantic looking mum came and opened the door.

“This was”

She hurried off; we followed at our ambulance pace. For a first time reader, an ambulance pace is slightly slower than a walk but looks faster than a walk. Hard to perfect but maintains the pretence of an emergency whilst covering up out apathy. We entered the bedroom; the familiar sight of double bed next to a cot greeted us. The only difference to the norm was that the baby was lying on the double bed….fast asleep. It was 3am after all!

“What makes you say he has chest pain?” I simply had to know.

“He was really sweaty and isn’t eating”

“He doesn’t seem in pain now, he looks fast asleep”

“I know, but he hasn’t woken up for his feed”

“Isn’t that cause for celebration?!” She didn’t seem to appreciate my humor.

“I changed him from this (points at Aptamil) to this (points at a weird looking organic thing) yesterday and now he’s not eating at all”

“So change back!”

“I read that this one (Aptamil) was bad for him.”

“Then try a different one”

“Are you sure he’s not ill?”

“He’s asleep, he hasn’t got a temperature, he is a good color, he is breathing normally and you haven’t said he has a cough at all. His nappies are normal, the only problem I can see is that he is asleep and doesn’t like his new milk.”

“Can you check to see if he has meningitis?"

“He doesn’t have meningitis. We can take you to hospital if you like.”

“I’ve already been twice today.”

“By ambulance?”

“Yes”

“And what did the hospital say?”

“That everything was OK”

Three ambulances, two hospital visits and still, she was convinced there was something wrong because he was asleep at 3am and didn’t like the odd looking organic tree hugging formula. If it tasted as bad as the packaging looked I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he refused to eat it! 

There seems to be a recurring theme with my blogs of late, and that is the issue around what to do for inappropriate uses of the ambulance. This woman had cost the NHS almost £3000 today in ambulances alone, add to that the 2 visits to hospital. This kind of use is unsustainable and costing millions. Education, education, education. I don’t want to be quoting Tony Blair but that is what people need. This woman was eastern European, her son was born here but she had only lived here for five years. I’m not complaining about her ethnic origin, she was here legally, she and her husband work and pay taxes, they both have a good grasp of the English language and that is all I expect from anyone who lives here, British or otherwise. The problem is, they are not brought up with a health care system like ours in their country and as such, do not seem to grasp how it should be used. Far to often people don’t seem to know what and when to use their GP, they call ambulance thinking we are a mobile pharmacy and there seems to be no education structure for immigrants coming into this country. We cannot simply expect foreign visitors to know what to do. A simple leaflet on a rack in a GP surgery is not enough. Someone needs to take the time to explain it, multiple contacts with the NHS in one day clearly shows there is a flaw in the system as well as her parenting. That is what needs fixing.

2013 MAD Blog Awards

This year is the fourth annual MAD awards for parent bloggers. It is also the first year I know of being nominated! I had a few messages from some of my wonderful readers saying they had nominated me. As per usual, winning anything is highly unlikely but always nice to be mentioned and you've got to be in it to win it! Obviously mine isn't solely a parenting blog but I am a working parent and have my Parenting 101 feature so why not?! You can nominate me for  two categories:

• MAD Blog of the Year 
• Best Blog Writer

To do so, go to http://www.the-mads.com/vote/ and vote at will if you think I'm worthy! You'll need to copy and paste my blog URL into the two categories, which is http://www.tryingmypatients.com/ 

Once nominations are over, if I am shortlisted then voting will begin, but we'll cross that bridge if I get there! As always, thanks again for all your support, it means the world to me!

Nominate Now!

Allergies & Vomiting

“2 year old male, vomiting, ? allergic reaction”

I have my very own 5 year old. In that 5 years he has vomited. In fact, he has vomited on numerous occasions, sometimes on me! Sometimes he has vomited more than once in a day. When he was a baby he would vomit milk all the time. He goes to school, he picks up bugs. He gets coughs and cold and sometimes even an upset stomach. He deals with it all. We deal with it all. Humans get ill from time to time. It’s a fact of life. We certainly never called an ambulance because he had been sick. Just sayin’!

Anyway, it was about 10pm on a bog standard weekday night shift. Me and my crewmate were parked up listening to Frank Sinatra watching the world go by when we were given a job about 100 yards away. We had pulled up, got out, grabbed our bags and rung the door bell before the 999 call had finished! We made our way up to the 3rd floor and knocked on the flat do. 

“In here, come quickly” said a frantic voice.”

We passed two teenage girls in the corridor who pointed us into the bedroom. Sitting on the bed was our patient sitting on his mothers lap. Her knee was bouncing up and down, as was the little kid! Probably not ideal for a vomiting child! I asked what had been going on and despite all the drama that was put into the story the crux of the matter was that the kid had vomited once and was now sleepy. Call me a cynic but is vomiting once a medical emergency and is it any surprise he is sleepy when it’s 3 hours past his bed time?! Despite my best efforts to calm her down, the mother was having none of it. She thought her kid was gravely ill and wanted to go to hospital. This vomiting was an apparent allergic reaction to banana. Trust me, I’ve seen allergic reaction, this wasn’t one. Even her teenage daughters found the whole thing a tad bizarre and chipped in trying to convince her to calm down. No joy!

She was convinced he was riddled with allergies and that was what had made him sick. Asking about allergies is a pretty standard question when determining someones medical history. A lot of what people are convinced they have a penicillin allergy, most don’t. They either had a side effect from taking it or simply don’t like it. The same applies to food people don’t like and in panicking parents, these make believe allergies are passed onto their children. 

“What is he allergic to?”

“Ha, what isn’t he allergic to?!”

“............” I didn’t feel that ridiculous statement warranted a response so just waited.

“Penicillin, wheat intolerant, lactose intolerant, most washing powders and nuts”

“What happens when he takes penicillin?”

“I don’t know, I won’t let him take it?”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m allergic to it.”

“In what way?”

“I feel constantly sick and ache”

“That’s a side effect. I doesn’t mean your son will be allergic.”

“I’m not risking it.”

“Has he been hospitalised or had any severe allergic reactions to anything?”

“No.”

Excellent! No known drug allergies is what I wrote down on the paperwork! This conversation reminded me of an article I read in The Daily Mash that sums up my feeling on the issue!

Your Baby Is Not As Pathetic As You, Say Experts 

WORRIED parents are being urged not to automatically assume that their baby is as pathetic and ill-informed as they are. 

Research has revealed that many parents have already decided their child will suffer from the same made-up food allergies they do.

And a recent study showed 65% of GP visits were the result of parents believing their baby is developing a Coco Pops intolerance because they have a great aunt who is hypoglycaemic.

But now scientists say there are other factors that cause babies to become feverish, develop a rash or shit themselves up to 18 times a day.

Dr Tom Logan, of the Institute for Studies, said: “It’s because they’re babies.”

He added: “If your baby is developing in a perfectly normal way, try to not jump to the conclusion that it must be suffering from that corned beef allergy you read about in Take a Break. 

“Also, if you think that you may have an intolerance to cheese, black pudding and Greggs pasties, don’t assume that your baby is going to be a delusional, self-absorbed halfwit.

“The best thing to do is wait until you have finished breast feeding and then either give the baby to Barnardos or leave it outside a big, posh house.”

We use humor quite a lot to diffuse a variety of situations and as much as i’d like to have read out the above, I used some restraint! Sometimes humor works, sometimes it doesn’t. I consider my crewmate to be very funny! He has good timing and often lightens the mood at the right times. The mother was rushing around like a headless chicken trying to put her entire life in a bag. I tried to tell her that if we are not rushing around there is nothing to worry about! That didn’t help. Maybe a bit of humor to lighten the mood?! The mother had the strongest of Liverpudlian accents. My crewmate went with.....

“That’s an interesting accent, what part of London are you from?!”

The daughters laughed, I chuckled, the mother glared.

“Is that supposed to be funny? Do you really this jokes are appropriate when my child is seriously ill?” 

SHOT DOWN! He sheepishly apologised! Seriously though, lighten up! The joke however, made the whole experience very awkward. Both of us were treated to glares for apparently not taking this life and death emergency seriously enough. What annoys me is that these people call an ambulance and then don’t respect the staff on them. I can only assume she called because she was worried and wanted some medical professionals to help. We arrived, looked, assessed, took a full history and came up with an impression of what we thought was going on, a diagnosis and a list for a differential diagnosis'. We see up to 12 patients a shift, 3-5 shifts a week, 52 weeks of the year. That equates to about 2000 patients a year. We know when a patient is ill, we know when a patient is on death's door and we know when a patient has vomited and wants to go to sleep. Why not call a taxi if you are going to ignore the ambulance crew? They will be able to do exactly what we are doing and probably won’t make any jokes.

People really need to take life less seriously and lighten up. I know that something trivial for one person can be an emergency to someone else but some people really need a reality check! If you call 999 and a paramedic tells you that everything is okay and a 2 year old vomiting once isn’t anything to worry about DON’T tell them they are wrong. Life is too short to be so bloody uptight! Chill your frickin’ beans!

Buggies

Buggies. Some parents live by them, some detest them. I am the latter. I cannot bloody stand them! The second that the boy could walk more than four steps without falling flat on his face the buggy was put into retirement. Luckily for us he embraced this and like me, he is extremely stubborn. Even on the rare occasions it was offered he would insist on walking. If I was in a rush, he would be carried. Why don't I like them? Well, they take up so much room, they cost so goddamn much and when I wasn't using them they just annoyed me everywhere I went. They cluttered aisles in supermarkets while other mums chatted, they blocked my desired route while in shops and people seemed totally incapable of not driving them into my ankles everywhere I went. Don't even get me started with them on buses and trains or I will explode. From an ambulance perspective loading a mum and her 'ill' child onto an ambulance, complete with the bags, the other kids and a double buggy is a pain in the arse to say the least. OK, OK, they are a necessity but that doesn't mean I have to like them. The reason I am writing this blog though is one of safety and sheer stupidity. I see it every single day at work, I see it every day driving my car and if you haven't seen it you are clearly living in an area which isn't home to muppets!

"RTC Car vs Pedestrian, 2 year old male, injuries unknown"

Those words give a sinking feeling every single time. It is the sinking feeling of fear. A weird fear but a fear all the same. Obviously fear is usually associated with something that makes you jump; a moment of tension in a film or a phobia. It isn't that we don't know what to do, it isn't that we don't feel able to do what we need to do, nor is it the fear of working in front of a crowd; it is the fear of seeing a dead child. A dead child that will make me think of my son. A dead child in front of their mother. That is the fear. Each drive to these jobs is subdued; you are hoping it isn't as given, you are hoping a passer by has got it wrong, you are hoping you are cancelled 'No longer required'. We were not cancelled, instead we struggled to barge our way though the traffic caused by the RTC. As per usual with these type of jobs, it occurred on a pedestrian crossing on a busy high street with a high foot fall. We were first on scene and my heart sank as we ground to a halt. Lying in the middle of the road was a push chair. A contorted push chair. Contorted by the impact with the Land Rover sat at a 45 degree angle on the crossing with its hazard lights flashing. The usual sea of frantic waves greeted us but from where we stopped, all I could see was the pushchair.

I grabbed the bags, my crew mate grabbed the collars and a blanket and I tentatively made my way around the car. Lying on the floor was the little boy. He was wearing the same Thomas the tank engine t-shirt that my boy wears. At his head, kneeling on the floor was an off duty policewoman keeping his head still. At his side was his mother, crying and holding his hand. Surrounding them all was a 50 strong crowd, camera phones at the ready. This morbid practice has become customary every time there are blue lights in the vicinity. Could this be the next viral YouTube video, could it be the next malpractice story the Daily Mail would sink their teeth into? I just try to ignore it. I made my way over to the boy. His eyes were open. That was a good start! To cut a long story short, we checked him over from head to toe. Apart from dirty clothes and a small graze on one of his hands he was injury free. Thank god for kids being bouncy. We took the usual precautions but I was happy that he was going to be just fine. Now, what happened?

It didn't take long to establish the facts. The mum had walked up to the pedestrian crossing and pressed the button. Remember 'Stop Look and Listen'? This time she had! She had approached and waited until it was her time to cross at the edge of the pavement. The problem was, she was pushing the buggy and whereas she was on the pavement, the buggy was half in the road. The car, driven by another mum with her child onboard the Chelsea tractor (that's a rant for another day), had not been concentrating and had continued to drive in a straight line and failed to see the buggy in the road. Bang! Land Rover + Maxi Cosi buggy = Contorted mess + flying child. 

What... the hell... was she thinking?! Why do people do it?! It is your child, don't push them into oncoming traffic! Seriously! Like I say, it is not uncommon either! EVERY SINGLE DAY!! Walk down a high street, any high street and look at just how many buggies are edging out into the road! I have taken to stopping and ranting when I see it.  Most sheepishly reverse, some flip me the bird and some tell me to Foxtrot Oscar, but why take the risk?! Every time I see it, my hatred for them increases. Obviously, I am being completely unreasonable in my hatred for an essential item but that's just me! I see things at work that cloud my judgment and make me see red! Have you seen this happen?! Is it just me?! Do you hate buggies too?! Maybe it isn't the buggies, maybe it's the muppet in control of them but it is easier just to blame the buggy and be done with it!