Bloody Immigrants

"48 year old male, cardiac arrest in street, CPR in progress"

Our Greatest Ever Team

It is not often that I agree with anything David Cameron has to say, however, when he describes UKIP voters as “fruitcakes, loonies and closet racists” I'm inclined to agree. They seem to be getting carried away with their recent success but the better known they get, the more skeletons from their dirty closets keep appearing. I have every faith that the great British public will see the light and this will be nothing more than a puff of hot hair and a protest vote against austerity.

It's 2013. Any party that expels their members for being pro gay marriage has no place in politics. However, quotes like “I just wish they would keep their homosexual nature and practises to themselves and stop trying to ram it down my throat telling me they are ‘normal’ when they are not.” seem part of the UKIP norm. Then again, that is little surprise when UKIP candidates like Alex Wood are photographed doing neo-nazi salutes. How very British! Last night I was told by someone from UKIP that "people fear the volume of immigrants in the UK" and when pushed he said it was "the fear that the UK they grew up in is changing beyond their control. It's just not England anymore." Ah yes, immigrants making us less English! Sound familiar? Sounds very BNP to me! Personally, I think they put the Great into Great Britain.

The England I grew up in was was a multicultural one. I lived in a nice part of the city and went to a good school. In my primary school class there were two boys from Nigeria, one from Pakistan, a few from India, one from Egypt, one from Ireland and *deep breath* one from Somalia! (UKIP voter shivers!) Some of them were born here, some weren't, to some of them English was their first language, to some it wasn't. Who cares?! Certainly as a 7 year old I didn't, they were just my school friends and still are. Perhaps the innocence of a 7 year old personifies what this country has stood for. It doesn't matter where you are from, what colour your skin is or whether you fancy boys or girls, you can be part of this wonderful country. By the way, forgot to say, there was also an American girl in my class but she doesn't count does she, because she's not considered an 'efnik'.

THIS is the NHS. THIS is Great Britain

This country is held together by 'immigrants'. The NHS alone, would implode without them. They do the jobs that these 'proud to be English' types won't do. Rather than sit there scrounging off the state, never doing a days work in their lives, do you see any of them offering to do a cleaning job? Becoming nurses? Becoming police officers? Doing anything to improve themselves or the country? No! They sit there and bitch about all the 'foreigners' taking their jobs. Well jobs don't fall from the sky, you have to go and earn them. The only reason an 'immigrant' has a job is because they applied for it. They met the criteria, did the training and work bloody hard to keep it, in the face of constant criticism and abuse from the uneducated racists this country harbours. 

This country has done a good job of demonising the BNP over the years and quite rightly so. Sadly UKIP has given these racists a legitimate party to vote for and a forum to start airing their far-right views. As far as I'm concerned, UKIP supporters are a bunch of racists who are pleased that their evil ways are being validated by a political party. 'Oh it MUST be OK, the politicians said so,' Well let me share a little story with you.....

Dear UKIP voter, 

UKIP see a turban. The rest of us see 3 coppers.

Last year I was called to a man who had collapsed in the street. A police officer was on scene and was doing CPR. (This CPR would go on to save the mans life.) The patient was a white man with an English name. Do you think he would have cared that the police officer doing the CPR was wearing a turban? Blooding immigrant eh?  

The guy I was working with that day was gay. Not just a little bit gay, very gay. You know the type, the gay that is proud to say he is. Don't worry, he won't try and turn you with his dirty gay ways, instead he will help try and save a mans life (without ramming his gayness in your face). Amazingly it doesn't effect his job, or prevent him contributing to society. He is also one of my closest friends. He may even want to get married one day! *shock horror face* Bloody homos eh?  

We started the resus and another one of our colleagues arrived. English was his second language. He was born in Kenya. KENYA! Proper immigrant eh? He suctioned the vomit out of the patients mouth and then secured the airway. (This action would contribute to saving the mans life) Can you believe he was allowed a job as a paramedic when English is his second language?! I'm starting to understand the fear. Bloody foreigner not speaking proper English eh?

The 4 of us worked tirelessly. We all communicated well together and were working to one purpose. Eventually we got him back! Wow! The guys heart was beating again! And he was breathing? So, me, the gay, the turban wearer and the immigrant got the guy onto the ambulance and rushed him off to hospital. This guy was a fighter. So bloody English eh?  

We burst through the doors of resus. Well this is awkward, the Consultant in charge was not only a woman, but a Muslim one wearing a Hijab! Surely she shouldn't be allowed to wear that?! Not in THIS country. We handed over anyway and she took charge, continuing the excellent treatment this tax paying Englishman deserves. Still though, bloody Muslims eh?  

As I looked around at the doctors, anaesthetists, nurses and HCAs there was a huge mix of backgrounds. Some born in England, some probably were not. Some were brown, some were black, one was even chinese! One might have even been a lesbian. *shocked face* (She may also want a wedding). My gay crewmates gaydar was working overtime! Anyway UKIP, here is a question for you. If this was your dad, your brother, your uncle or your friend would you care that he was being saved by a bunch of bloody homos and immigrants? Do you think the patient would give a dam? Or the patients family? This man lived and returned to tax paying status. His life was saved by the people of Great Britain. 

You really should have a long hard think about that, because it isn't just a one off. This wasn't a hand picked job to make my point. That is every job I do, that is every hospital in the country, that is every police force that protects you. In fact, that is every school, GP surgery, dentist, supermarket, fire service, coast guard, builder and every other single business, service and institution in this country. England is a multicultural country, always has been and always will be. Your racist policies will not stand up. We pride ourselves on the fact that no matter what the colour of skin, sexual orientation or religious beliefs that someone has they are no less valuable or have any less right to be here than you and me. 

Oh did I mention. I'm a second generation Eastern European. I should probably go back where I came from. Bloody foreigners eh?  

Go on, say it, I know want you, don't be shy, all together now.... 

"We are not racists, we just don't want immigrants in our country." 

Well UKIP, without invoking Godwin's law, your party is starting out in the exact same way as the German Workers Party (Deutsche Arbeiterpartei - DAP) began in 1919. In 1920 Hitler became a member and shortly after that it became the Nazi Party (Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei - NSDAP) and we all know how that ended. 

Lots of love 

Ella Shaw (part immigrant, proud brit) x

Poster Boy

"36 year old male, diabetic problems"

This winds me up! Diabetic problems?! Could they be any more vague! That could literally mean anything. The patient could be hyperglycaemic, hypoglycaemic, have retinopathy, diabetic ketoacidosis, hyperosmolar non-ketonic coma, renal failure, some kind of neuropathy problem, who knows! How are you supposed to prepare for a job if you have nothing to go on! Anyway, rant aside, off I went. Within a few minutes I was outside the house and ready to walk into the unknown.

After navigating my way past the 3 cars on the driveway (1x new Golf, 1 x Porsche Boxter and 1 x BMW X5) I knocked on the door. You'd think that when you dial 999 you'd be prepared for the imminent arrival of an ambulance or some kind of responder. It should never, ever, take over a minute to answer the doors unless the patient is disabled or frail. Anyway, annoyance at the delay aside, the door was eventually opened by the patient. He was well dressed, well spoken and going by the furnishings and accessories in the house he certainly wasn't short of a few quid! I followed him through to the lavish kitchen.

"What's the problem today sir?"

"I just need my blood sugar levels checked."

"OK, but why? Are you diabetic? Are you unwell?"

"I don't think I'm unwell, I mean I feel fine. I'm a tablet controlled diabetic."

"OK, but what did you need an emergency ambulance for?"

"To check my blood sugar! Keep up!" he chuckled.....

"I get that, but why do you think your blood sugar level needs checking if you're feeling fine?"

"Because I'm supposed to monitor my sugar levels and I've lost my test kit."

"So you've lost your kit, so phoned us to get your blood sugar checked?"

"Exactly!" he said in a condescending manor.

"I will check your blood sugar but do you really think it's an appropriate use of the service? You could have just gone and bought another one."

"Who do you think you are to tell me what I can and can't do? Lets not forget that I pay your wages."

Oh, he went THERE. I bit my tongue, did his blood sugar, cancelled the crew who were on route and offered him a full check over through the most hideous fake smile I could muster. Thankfully he refused. He signed my paperwork and I left without even receiving a thank you. I was surprised he didn't pat me on the head and say 'good dog'.

I sat in the car, heart pounding, steam coming out of my ear and a vein pulsating on my forehead! I was livid. Why is this tolerated? Why can nothing be done about it? Why can people be so rude and disrespectful. Then it all clicked into place. The nice cars, the nice house, the elitist attitude, the disrespect......and the Vote Tory poster in the window. How did I miss THAT when arrived?! I should have known I'm just a public servant.

We're all in this together!

Sink or Swim

"RTC, Car in Lake, Fire and HART on way, injuries unknown"

I moan. Yes, I know, you can all hide the shock on your faces but I do. I moan more than I realised! I was moaning to my crewmate about how I never get the good jobs and its just the same drivel every day! The funny thing about this job is you do so much in a week, it can appear a lifetime ago that you did something worth while. In actual fact it's more than likely you did something worth while less than a week ago, you've just forgotten! I suppose it doesn't help that I can't remembers a job from 7 hours ago, let alone 7 days. You're enthusiasm for this job is only ever as good as your last patient!

He stopped me in my tracks and said:

"In the last month you've had 4 cardiac arrest, a shooting, a stabbing and at least 3 serious RTCs! What are you moaning about?!"

Good point. I'll shut up! Seriously though, the day was dragging and the last patient had been rude and obnoxious so my enthusiasm was particularly low!

Car in Lake?! Yes please!! Like Sonic the Hedgehog in Red Boots we sped off to the lake in question. I say lake in the loosest sense. Pond would be a better description! Actually fish pond to be precise! It would also be worth noting that the title to this blog is also a bit dramatic! The car had sunk to the bottom but had barely covered the wheels with water and it would be a case of wading more than swimming but still, the headline in my head was "Paramedic swims across shark infested lake to save drowning granny from sinking car".

Our patient was sitting in the car looking rather bashful! She wasn't injured or trapped, just scared. My crewmate looked at me with a grin and said "off you go!". Clearly chivalry is dead! I heard the sirens in the distance, no doubt from the fire brigade, police and HART team and I wasn't going to have them massage their inflated egos (police excluded) by diving into the rescue, so in I waded! All 3 steps worth! The back of the car was only 2 feet from the edge of the bank!

I checked her over, was happy there were no injuries and told her to wait until we could get her back to land.

"Nonsense, I just need someones hand to hold onto, my feet are already wet! I'm certainly not having someone carry me, how embarrassing."

She was so defiant and I certainly wasn't going to cross her, so at her request, I took her hand and stepped her onto the bank, just as the fire brigade came rushing over!

"It's OK guys, you just leave all the rescuing to us little ladies, you take it easy!"

They laughed but you see it had killed them not to be able to wade into the water! I hope the Daily Mail tell the public how we did indeed risk shark infested ponds to save people! Can't have health and safety getting in the way of good care now can we?! We sat in the ambulance for a few minutes checking her over and doing paperwork when there was a knock on the door from the Hazardous Area Response Team (HART). They had turned up late to the party as per usual despite me cancelling them once we had our patient on board. No doubt they hung around the fire brigade for a little while cursing about how irresponsible we had been! If you want to play in hazardous areas, get to the hazardous areas before anyone else!

Not the actual car or pond before some of you have kittens!

We took her to hospital for a check up and a cuppa! That's all she really wanted! In fact, she was quite put aback by the lack of biscuits in A & E! See, cut backs are not only causing ambulance delays, there are very real biscuit shortages too! It's an outrage!

"So, you gonna moan about never doing anything interesting or you gonna have a few hours off?"

"Touché!"

B.O.G.O.F

"88 year old female, DIB"

For those that read my blog regularly, you will be able to tell the mood I was in by the following three pieces on information:

1) It was 06:55

2) I'd had no coffee

3) It was raining

Not a good day thus far! I was tired, grouchy and awful company. Luckily for me, the crew mate is also not a morning person and we know each other well enough, not to have to make small talk. We communicated with nods and grunts until such a time we are awake enough to function! Getting a job tends to wake us up so being sent to a local care home woke us slightly.

If we were still struggling with being alert, the update we received to say the patient was now in cardiac arrest snapped us out of it. We made our battle plan, we knew who was doing what, so when we arrived we each grabbed our designated kit and went in. As the driver, I was about 20 seconds behind my crew mate as I had to get some of the heavier stuff out the back of the ambulance. As I entered the room, he was starting CPR.

We started going through the routine, I took over compressions while he attached the pads, checked the rhythm and began to secure an airway. Once that was done, he took over compressions whilst I started to look for IV access. Still no second crew or FRU but it was shift change over time to that was little surprise! Then 7 words were spoken by one of the careers....

"We have another patient in cardiac arrest."

This wasn't part of our battle plan! We starred at each other for a few seconds then my crew mate just said "GO!". I pressed 'priority' on my radio, I grabbed the spare defibrillator, ran (yes, I actually ran) to the ambulance, grabbed more oxygen and ventilating bag, more drugs and the spare paramedic bag and ran (ambulance walk now) back inside and up the stairs!

Sure enough, lying on the floor was another patient with a carer doing CPR! My radio started ringing whilst I was asking the carer to continue!

"Red base, we now have 2 patients in cardiac arrest, we require at least 3 more resources on scene."

"Rog, understood, you have an FRU about 3 minutes away."

I attached the pads whilst the carer continued compressions then I started oxygenating the patient. I couldn't think straight! I couldn't really comprehend what was going on! I hadn't a clue what was going on downstairs! How was my crews mate doing? How was our patient?! You need more hands than what we had available too us. There is something very unnerving about being put in situations you are not prepared for. I've often spoken about how the journey to a job is crucial for gathering thought and getting mentally prepared for the worst case scenario you may walk into. THIS, neither of us were prepared for. I couldn't help my mind wondering to the patient down stairs.

The history of my current patient was vague, she had been seen this morning but then found not to be breathing. CPR was being done so I carried it on until I had some help and a chance to step back and think! Within 5 minutes the cavalry arrived, a total of 3 ambulance and 3 FRUs all descended on the care home! As it was student season most of them had a student too! The 12 of us got split between the two rooms and eventually I was able to return to my original patient!

Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, we terminated the resus of patient 1 after 20 minutes of advanced life support. We cleared up our kit and headed out to the ambulance car park to request the police for an unexpected death. 5 minutes later everyone else from upstairs appeared. Patient 2 had also passed away despite being given the best chance. All that was left was a mass of paperwork.

This job will always throw curveballs at you, generally when you least expect them. Today the grim reaper won, tomorrow we will win. It was going to be one of those days.

Handle With Care

"34 year old male, chest pain"

As far as night shifts go, this was a particularly gruelling one. No break, no food, crap weather, extra tired, rude patients and a headache! It was time for the last job and for once we got it relatively quickly! To me, a 34 year old male with chest pain is a simple job (in general). He's unlikely to be ill and will probably go to hospital and probably won't need carrying. It had all the makings of the perfect off job!

We were due to finish at 06:15 so arriving on scene at 05:30 gave us 45
minutes to do our thing! Bags in hand I mustered my energy to drag myself down the path and up to the front door. I rang the bell and gave a loud knock on the door.......

Nothing!

I knock again, this time louder and held the bell on for an irritating length of time.

Nothing!

I shouted through the letter box, knocked on the door, windows and rang the bell repeatedly.

Nothing!

"Red base, can you give this patient a ring back, there is no answer at the door."

"Rog, stand by."

A few seconds later we could hear the phone ring.....and ring.....and ring.....and ring some more!

Nothing!

"No answer so we are treating this a collapsed behind closed doors, have requested police to force entry."

There goes finishing on time! When the police eventually arrive (I'm not complaining!) it was 06:30! We exchanged some banter about delays and how tired we all looked and wondered up to the front door. One of the coppers came with us while the other was getting the Big Red Key from the boot. The copper gave the door a knock.....

Nothing!

He then tried the handle and door swung open to reveal our patient lying on the sofa snoring. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole! I was mortified! I tried to lie and say I'd tried the handle but was quickly told to stop lying and admit that I was a numpty! Everyone had a laugh at my expense, jokes were made and re-enactments were done! My face was redder than the Enforcer!

We may have been late off by every embarrassing cloud has a silver lining. Our patient woke up or was woken up, and decided to become abusive! He called us c**ts for taking so long that he fell asleep and then told us to 'get the f**king pigs' out of his house. Obviously the police didn't appreciate this, so when he got up off his sofa and squared up to one of them it ended with him being bundled to the floor, put in handcuffs and taken away in a van!

For me, I needed to clean the egg of my face, cover up the rosie cheeks and find away to a) restore my pride and b) convince my crew mate not to tell anyone else! I failed miserably on both counts! The banter continues......